Do
you remember when you first got a driver’s license? For me it was over 50 years
ago, but I remember it vividly. It was both scary and exhilarating: the
adulthood it implied, the freedom it offered, the awesome responsibility. Wow,
that was a memorable moment of my life.
Now
that I am at the other end of my life, I recognize that there comes a time when
declining physical or mental abilities mean that it is no longer appropriate for
a person to be driving but it is hard to tell when that point has
arrived. Cars are getting smarter, but they are not smart enough to tell us that
it is no longer safe to drive.
Over
the years I have met with many children of aging parents who expressed concerns
that Mom or Dad was still driving. (For some reason, my recollection is that it
was usually Dad, not Mom, who was the problem). This can be a big issue for
both the kids and the parent. Children don’t know how to convince their parent
that it is time to stop driving. They surely want to avoid a confrontation with
their parent. And they understand that losing your license to drive is a big
deal.
No
one who drives wants that right taken away. Yes, it does seem like both a right
and “rite” of adulthood. Losing it will be like returning to those pre-age 16
days, but without having the youthful ability to run and ride a bike. For an
older adult, giving up the car keys can involve a significant loss of freedom,
and increased social isolation and dependency. We don’t want to burden
relatives and friends every time we need to run an errand. And if we live in a
rural area, we may have no other realistic transportation options. It’s no
wonder that the thought of not being able to drive creates anxiety and
depression.
How
do you know when the time has come to restrict driving, or maybe even stop
entirely? And what can children do to help their parent through this difficult transition?
I’ve
found that there is actually quite a bit of guidance available online. For
example, the AAA website has
a tool that can help seniors assess their skills and get advice on how to
maximize their safety on the road. And the AARP
website has advice and a free online seminar for family members. Additional
resources are listed below in this article.
How
to Assess Driving Ability
If
you need to assess a senior’s driving ability, Consumer
Reports suggests you watch for these red flags:
- Slow response
times.
- Inability to
fully turn to check blind spots.
- Running stop
signs.
- Motorists
honking at them frequently.
- A hesitation
or reluctance to drive.
- Cognitive
dysfunction, such as getting lost or calling for help.
- Repeat fender
benders, dings, or paint scrapes on the car.
The
Pennsylvania Department of Transportation offers the following list of
questions a child can ask their parent:
- Do you feel
less comfortable driving now than you did five years ago?
- Have you had
more near-accidents in the last year or so?
- Do intersections
bother you because of all the cars and activity in several directions?
- Is it harder
to judge the distance and speed of cars when you merge into traffic?
- Is night
driving more difficult because of glare and blurred vision?
A
“yes” response to any of these questions suggests that a driver refresher
course or a discussion with the older driver’s physician may be in order.
Information
is available online that can help older drivers and their children assess
driving ability. Especially helpful is an American Automobile Association
booklet that allows older drivers to test their performance by answering a
number of simple questions. Drivers
65 Plus: Check Your Performance,
The
Hartford Insurance Company has a booklet that offers guidance to children about
how to initiate a caring conversation with their parent about driving:
What
you can do if the Older Driver ignores your legitimate concerns
What
can a child do if Dad won’t respond to your concerns about his driving?
Discuss
the problem with the older driver’s health care provider. You can turn to your parent’s physician for help. Of
course, this can be a messy issue for doctors who typically have no training in
assessing driving safety. This is not something that can be treated with
standard medical advice or a prescription. And physicians are appropriately
concerned about not violating patient privacy and maintaining the
doctor-patient relationship.
But
a doctor can provide patient counseling that can carry a level of influence
with the older patient that may far exceed that of the children. And a
physician can check for medical problems like vision or medication issues. So,
seeking the help of Dad’s doctor is probably wise.
Be
prepared for the older driver to be reluctant to discuss driving with his
physician. He may fear that the doctor may report him to the licensing
authority. (In Pennsylvania, doctors are supposed to report persons diagnosed
as having a condition that could impair the ability to drive. Ultimately, it is
the Department of Transportation, not the doctor, which makes the ultimate
decision on whether to impose license restrictions.)
Here
are some additional ideas for children who are struggling with this issue:
Schedule
a driving evaluation. Some communities
offer Driver Evaluation and Training programs for older or disabled drivers.
Check with your local health system or your state licensing agency to find one
near you. You can also check on the Insurance
Institute for Highway Safety web site to find out about testing
options in your state.
Avoid
tricks. Experts tend to
recommend against using tricks – like hiding keys or disabling Dad’s car. Here
is what the Pennsylvania
Department of Transportation (PennDOT) says on this subject: “It
is better to maintain a sense of trust in your relationship, being honest and
persistent. Encourage the person to make a decision to reduce or stop driving
as appropriate. Be aware that persons who lose the privilege of driving often
feel lonely or anxious because they have fewer opportunities to be with friends
or involved in activities.”
Write
your state licensing agency. As a last
resort, family members and others can notify their state licensing agency
(e.g. PennDOT)
of their concerns. Drivers identified through these letters may be asked to
submit medical information. Write a detailed letter regarding your observations
and the driver’s specific medical impairment(s). The letter must also include
your name and contact information. For Pennsylvania drivers this letter can be
mailed to: Pennsylvania Department of Transportation, P.O. Box 68682,
Harrisburg, PA 17106-8682. Reports submitted to PennDOT are confidential.
It
may help reassure the older driver to know that it may be possible to obtain a
restricted license rather than completely lose their driving privilege. In
Pennsylvania a “graduated license” can be obtained that allows the senior to
continue driving subject to certain limitations. PennDOT describes a graduated
license as a type of license somewhere between full privilege and no privilege.
For example, PennDOT offers a low vision restricted license to drivers with
vision between 20/70 and 20/100. These drivers are limited to driving during
daylight hours on roads other than freeways. PennDOT may also limit these
drivers to driving within a certain geographic area as determined on a
case-by-case basis.
Resources:
The
Pennsylvania Department of Transportation offers a free booklet
The
Pennsylvania Department of Transportation also has an Older
Driver Information Center
Roadwise RX (This is a free online tool from the American
Automobile Association designed to allow you to record your list of medications
in one central location, and to receive personalized feedback about how drug
side effects and interactions between medications may impact your safety behind
the wheel).
Consumer
Reports has a list of Best
Cars for Older Drivers.
DRIVER
REFRESHER COURSES:
The
following agencies conduct state approved classroom training courses for mature
drivers. There are no written or practical driving tests required. The course
fees are moderate, but vary with each agency:
The American Association of Retired Persons
(AARP) Contact the AARP state office at 225 Market Street, Harrisburg, PA
17101; (717) 238-2277 or via the Web site at www.aarp.org.
American Automobile Association. Contact your
local AAA office for availability or via the Web site at www.aaa.com.
Seniors for Safe Driving. Call 1-800-559-4880 or
via the Web site at www.sfsd-pa.com for
availability
[This
is an update of an article that was originally published in April 2014 on the
Marshall, Parker and Weber blog].